"How to Find a Happy Marriage" Oct. 2011 with

i've slowly been making my way through an article in a women's magazine about marriage.
the magazine is called "with", and the target audience seems to be women in their 20s who are working professional or semi-professional jobs.

the bulk of the magazine contained examples of this fall's "it" items, clothing that looks fashionable for work, hair/make-up tips, etc.

the article i'm going through has two commentators, a male (nishiguchi) and a female (ichikawa) who deal with couples' issues.

interestingly enough, the image that starts off the article is a white couple kissing at their wedding...surrounded by cheering manga characters.
without further ado, i present....

(pg1)
How to Find a Happy Marriage
Have we entered an era where it’s now “normal” to be unable to marry?

We all yearn for a “happy marriage”, but, you won’t find true happiness by lining up a bunch of conditions for your partner and standing by idly, waiting for your prince charming to come! What does “happiness” mean to you? Let’s take the time to carefully think this over once more!!

I want a happy marriage, but...

By 2030, the percentage of women who have never been married will rise to over 20 percent.

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare estimates that by 2030, 23% of females will have never been married. Does this mean that 20 years from now, we’ll see the advent of a generation where one in four women has never been married by age 50?!

Only 0.8% of men are “normal”?!

While you may say, “I’m not setting my hopes high, I just want a normal partner.”, did you know that only 0.8% of the men in the world are “normal”??

(pg 2)
I can't find a "normal husband"?!

Your conditions for a partner are too harsh!

You may be telling yourself that a normal guy is fine, but after you’ve added up all of your requirements, you’ll find that the guy you want is far from average. You’re then left with a narrow pool of people to choose from. Perhaps the way you go about choosing a partner is wrong?

He’s a good guy, but…

I can’t marry my boyfriend if I have these gripes and concerns!!

Many of our readers are fine with their boyfriend’s personality, but there’s just that one thing that’s preventing them from taking the marriage leap.

Occupation
Worried about his public image

“My boyfriend works at my company’s subsidiary company. It’s awkward to think that he might be by co-worker’s underling someday” (28, service).

“My boyfriend gave up his position as a permanent staff member at a company because he wanted freedom. I’m worried about the future and hesitate about marriage” (26, public servant).

Nishiguchi- We live in an era where even big corporations are unsteady. Rather than hang-ups on his occupation, look at his vitality.

Appearance
Looks are important

“Compared to my friend’s boyfriend, my boyfriend’s face is somewhat lacking. I wish he looked a bit cooler…” (24, clothing)

“His face looks older than his actual age. Everyone’s shocked when they learn his real age” (26, educator)

Nishiguchi- If you really don’t like his looks it can’t be helped. However, there’s no reason for your female friends or other people to complain about his appearance!

Clothing Sense
His street clothes leave me at a loss for words

“He looks so cool in a suit, but when I meet him on his days off, he’s dressed like my dad on his day off! I was so disappointed” (25, manufacturing)

“His clothing is so garish. The gap between my style and his is too big!” (23, sales)

Nishiguchi- You can revamp his clothes. Go shopping with him and point out the clothing that you like. If he is open to trying them on, there should be no problem.

Cleanliness
My boyfriend’s grubbiness makes me exhausted

“My boyfriend has a lot of worn out clothes with stains. He’s so indifferent to his personal appearance, I’m in a daze” (25, manufacturing).

“Clothing is strewn about my boyfriend’s room. If we got married, that’d be hard to deal with” (27, finance).

Nishiguchi- You can’t help it if it bothers you. But, you need to first clearly tell him what you’re thinking. You have hope with a boyfriend who’s willing to put in some effort.

Conversation
Is he listening to what I’m saying?

“He’s a good guy, but I always get the feeling that he’s just letting people’s conversations go in one ear and out the other” (24, planner)

“He has really serious conversations, which I can respect, but nothing he talks about is interesting” (26, sales)

Nishiguchi- It depends on the person, but, for the most part, guys are not good at listening to what women say. Make what you have to say brief.

Income
Can we live on what he makes?

"My boyfriend's salary is determined on an annual basis and based on his work results. With the current economic situation, I'm worried" (27, education)

"I really want to be a stay-at-home-mom. But based on my boyfriend's income, our lifestyle quality would be quite low" (26, manufacturing)

Nishiguchi- This is not the time to be relying on your partner's salary alone. Base your married life calculations on the assumption that you will continue to work.

Height
He's not going to get any taller...

"I'm 153cm (5'0), and I'm taller than my boyfriend when I put on heels. Everything else about him is great, though" (25, manufacturing)

"My friends think he looks like some kid that I'm taking care of" (26, health care)

Nishiguchi- This is another one of those things where you're totally wrapped up in what others are thinking and you need to check yourself. Throw out the vanity.

Education
Low education = stupid?!

"He graduated from a high school that had lower test scores than my own. Because his school was in the country, I feel that it's important to graduate from a good school" (22, sales)
(note, i'm not sure that i translated this correctly. the japanese is:
自分の高校よりも偏差値の低い高校出身。地方なので、世間体もあり出身校は大事)

"I can talk with him about anything, but, he's only graduated from high school. I graduated from uni. What would the bride/groom introductions at our wedding be like?" (25, office worker)

Nishiguchi- Level of education and intelligence are different. If he has other good points, don't get hung up over his level of education.

=====
that's it for tonight. more to come later!