"How to Find a Happy Marriage" Oct. 2011 with pt2

Sorry for the wait! Here comes part two. There's still a lot to cover. I'll probably end up skipping over some parts.
As I wrote before, with is a Japanese magazine targeted at young women in their 20s.
Picking up where I left off, readers comments about various areas of their boyfriend's lives...

I don't know why the font was so off in the previous post. For as long as I've had blogger, I really don't understand it.

Only 0.8% of men are "above average"?!
The more conditions you have, the further away from your ideal you become

There are many women that lament that they cannot even find a "regular" man to be with. Nishiguchi has the following to say; "In most cases, when someone says they want a 'regular' partner, they haven't yet thought about what marriage life might be like. When I ask for more details about the average person, I get this laundry list of conditions."

"For example, only 1/2 of men have an above average income. If you have 7 'above average' conditions, then that's 1/2 x 1/2 x 1/2 ...multiply that by 7 and you get just o.8%".

Choose a partner that meets your values, don't be pressured by society

You're going to be left with high hopes if you have lots of conditions for a partner, but continue to say that 'regular' is fine. If you hold onto that ideal, you'll never find a partner. "The more someone cares about what their friends and those around them think, the more likely they are to have lined up a bunch of conditions. Before focusing on various requirements, spend some time thinking about what would make you satisfied when you get married."

Less Than 1/4 of Japanese Men Make Over 4 million* yen a Year!
In response to the question, "What's the yearly income you want your partner to have?", more than half of our readers answered, "More than 4 million yen".
However, data shows that even within the Tokyo Metropolitan Area, only 23% of men of marriageable age have a yearly income of 4 million yen or more!

Nishiguchi- It's rare for a young man to have a high income. Your salary goes up after middle age. There's nothing 'regular' about 4 million yen a year!

Ishikawa- Men's salaries are also going down. Don't just focus on his income. Look at your combined income and your choices for partners will open up.

Yearly income for single men (25-34) in the Tokyo Metro Area
Less than 2million yen*/year: 33.8%
2million to 4million yen/year: 43.2%
4million to 6million yen/year: 19.5%
over 6million yen/year: 3.5%

Men with an income of over 4 million yen a year make up just 23%!

with questionnaire: What do you want your partner's income to be?
It doesn't matter/less than 2million yen/year: 7.2%
2 million to 4 million yen/year: 40.1%
4 million to 6 million yen/year: 44.1%
over 6 million yen/year: 8.6%

52.7% of respondents want someone who makes more than 4 million yen/year!

*If you think of 100 yen as equal to $1US, then 4 million yen is $40,000.
The income results were based on a report published in 2002...which probably means that these are statistics from 2001 at the least.

From what I've seen, most jobs for university graduates go from 160,000 yen/month to 210,000yen a month ($1,600 to $2,100/month). This is *BEFORE* taxes are taken out.
Even if you can start out in the 200,000s/month, you'd be making about $25,000/year...again, before taxes.

To give an example of expenses in Hiroshima:
-rent (1 bedroom apartment with bathroom/kitchen): 35,000 to 65,000yen/month plus a deposit of up to 6 months rent and a fee of up to 1 million yen to the landlord
- electricity: average of 3,000 yen/month (based on me)
- gas: average of 3,000 yen/month (again, based on me)
- water: 3,200 yen every other month
- internet: 5,000 yen/month (wireless)
- cell phone: 5,000 yen/month
- food: 40,000 yen/month

just the above, with the cheaper rent will eat up most of your paycheck. if you have a car, you're paying 30,000 yen a month for parking (if you don't have your own home with a parking space).
if you have to commute by train, that's 15,000 yen or more a month.

If you just want to get by, less than 3 million a year could be doable...if you are debit free.
If you want to have room to take a vacation some time, 3 to 4 million is ok.
If you want to get married and start a family, more than 4 million is good (imo).

More to come later! I've met with some serious stuff lately, so writing on blogger is and even lower priority m(_ _)m

"How to Find a Happy Marriage" Oct. 2011 with

i've slowly been making my way through an article in a women's magazine about marriage.
the magazine is called "with", and the target audience seems to be women in their 20s who are working professional or semi-professional jobs.

the bulk of the magazine contained examples of this fall's "it" items, clothing that looks fashionable for work, hair/make-up tips, etc.

the article i'm going through has two commentators, a male (nishiguchi) and a female (ichikawa) who deal with couples' issues.

interestingly enough, the image that starts off the article is a white couple kissing at their wedding...surrounded by cheering manga characters.
without further ado, i present....

(pg1)
How to Find a Happy Marriage
Have we entered an era where it’s now “normal” to be unable to marry?

We all yearn for a “happy marriage”, but, you won’t find true happiness by lining up a bunch of conditions for your partner and standing by idly, waiting for your prince charming to come! What does “happiness” mean to you? Let’s take the time to carefully think this over once more!!

I want a happy marriage, but...

By 2030, the percentage of women who have never been married will rise to over 20 percent.

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare estimates that by 2030, 23% of females will have never been married. Does this mean that 20 years from now, we’ll see the advent of a generation where one in four women has never been married by age 50?!

Only 0.8% of men are “normal”?!

While you may say, “I’m not setting my hopes high, I just want a normal partner.”, did you know that only 0.8% of the men in the world are “normal”??

(pg 2)
I can't find a "normal husband"?!

Your conditions for a partner are too harsh!

You may be telling yourself that a normal guy is fine, but after you’ve added up all of your requirements, you’ll find that the guy you want is far from average. You’re then left with a narrow pool of people to choose from. Perhaps the way you go about choosing a partner is wrong?

He’s a good guy, but…

I can’t marry my boyfriend if I have these gripes and concerns!!

Many of our readers are fine with their boyfriend’s personality, but there’s just that one thing that’s preventing them from taking the marriage leap.

Occupation
Worried about his public image

“My boyfriend works at my company’s subsidiary company. It’s awkward to think that he might be by co-worker’s underling someday” (28, service).

“My boyfriend gave up his position as a permanent staff member at a company because he wanted freedom. I’m worried about the future and hesitate about marriage” (26, public servant).

Nishiguchi- We live in an era where even big corporations are unsteady. Rather than hang-ups on his occupation, look at his vitality.

Appearance
Looks are important

“Compared to my friend’s boyfriend, my boyfriend’s face is somewhat lacking. I wish he looked a bit cooler…” (24, clothing)

“His face looks older than his actual age. Everyone’s shocked when they learn his real age” (26, educator)

Nishiguchi- If you really don’t like his looks it can’t be helped. However, there’s no reason for your female friends or other people to complain about his appearance!

Clothing Sense
His street clothes leave me at a loss for words

“He looks so cool in a suit, but when I meet him on his days off, he’s dressed like my dad on his day off! I was so disappointed” (25, manufacturing)

“His clothing is so garish. The gap between my style and his is too big!” (23, sales)

Nishiguchi- You can revamp his clothes. Go shopping with him and point out the clothing that you like. If he is open to trying them on, there should be no problem.

Cleanliness
My boyfriend’s grubbiness makes me exhausted

“My boyfriend has a lot of worn out clothes with stains. He’s so indifferent to his personal appearance, I’m in a daze” (25, manufacturing).

“Clothing is strewn about my boyfriend’s room. If we got married, that’d be hard to deal with” (27, finance).

Nishiguchi- You can’t help it if it bothers you. But, you need to first clearly tell him what you’re thinking. You have hope with a boyfriend who’s willing to put in some effort.

Conversation
Is he listening to what I’m saying?

“He’s a good guy, but I always get the feeling that he’s just letting people’s conversations go in one ear and out the other” (24, planner)

“He has really serious conversations, which I can respect, but nothing he talks about is interesting” (26, sales)

Nishiguchi- It depends on the person, but, for the most part, guys are not good at listening to what women say. Make what you have to say brief.

Income
Can we live on what he makes?

"My boyfriend's salary is determined on an annual basis and based on his work results. With the current economic situation, I'm worried" (27, education)

"I really want to be a stay-at-home-mom. But based on my boyfriend's income, our lifestyle quality would be quite low" (26, manufacturing)

Nishiguchi- This is not the time to be relying on your partner's salary alone. Base your married life calculations on the assumption that you will continue to work.

Height
He's not going to get any taller...

"I'm 153cm (5'0), and I'm taller than my boyfriend when I put on heels. Everything else about him is great, though" (25, manufacturing)

"My friends think he looks like some kid that I'm taking care of" (26, health care)

Nishiguchi- This is another one of those things where you're totally wrapped up in what others are thinking and you need to check yourself. Throw out the vanity.

Education
Low education = stupid?!

"He graduated from a high school that had lower test scores than my own. Because his school was in the country, I feel that it's important to graduate from a good school" (22, sales)
(note, i'm not sure that i translated this correctly. the japanese is:
自分の高校よりも偏差値の低い高校出身。地方なので、世間体もあり出身校は大事)

"I can talk with him about anything, but, he's only graduated from high school. I graduated from uni. What would the bride/groom introductions at our wedding be like?" (25, office worker)

Nishiguchi- Level of education and intelligence are different. If he has other good points, don't get hung up over his level of education.

=====
that's it for tonight. more to come later!